Worst. Cartoon. EVER.

Okay, I want to be perfectly clear on this:

Cartoon Brew has a series, called ‘Cartoon Dump‘, where they showcase bad cartoons, yeah? I’ve watched the whole series, and those cartoons are AWFUL. But they all pale to insignificance in the face of “Animal Soccer World” from the Netherlands’ Phoenix Films.

Imagine a cartoon that blatantly stole some well-known characters from an equally well-known animation company, and animated them (extremely badly) on top of existing footage from some OTHER cartoon. Then replace that other cartoon’s soundtrack with a loop found on the internet somewhere, keeping one of the songs, but having the lyrics re-sung by that weird guy who’s always standing at the bus stop with open cans of cat food and a spork. Top the whole thing off with ALL the voices done by the same hapless guy, who is apparently translating the script into English on the fly. Okay? Now, imagine all of that, only worse. You’re ALMOST there.

Here is part one. Watch it, if you dare.

IF you manage to make it though that, and like me, you want to be able to stand at the next furry con and say you sat through the whole brutal experience with nothing but half a bottle of Cointreau to keep your hands from gouging your eyeballs out, then here’s part two, part three, and part four.

Man, not even DRUGS would make me sit through that again…


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