Loop***s Ruin Everything.

A couple of weeks ago I was in a record store here in town.  In the back, digging through the dance and disco singles (not all dance records are disco) were a group of guys who were going through them all, needledropping.  This (for the vinyl-deprived) is a process gone through in used vinyl record stores that have turntables for the patrons so they can listen to the record before they buy it.  These guy were needledropping a bunch of stuff, looking for loops, and passing on otherwise good songs because they didn’t hear something they could feed into a sampler and delude themselves that they were doing something creative by making loops.  Under my breath, I christened them ‘Loop***s’.

Anyway, they wrecked the joint.  They left records strewn all over the area, out of the bins, and in some cases, out of their covers, even though there was a plainly-labeled BOX to put records in for those too lazy to put them back where they got them from.  The store owner was so angry he removed the turntable.

The other day, I had opportunity to talk with both that store owner and the manager at another store in town, and the subject of the Loop***s’ recent behavior came up.  It turns out these chowderheads persons are well-known nusiances around town.  Not only are they inconsiderate, they’re annoying.

I bring this up because I got browbeat into going to a club with the promise that there would be Disco.  When I got there, the DJ was one of the Loop***s.  “Alright”, I thought to myself, “Let’s see what you got.”  What I got was:

Two disco records I recognised;

Two other disco records I didn’t recognise;

A whole LOT of 80’s Italo-Disco (again, for the uninitiated: this is a different kind of music: not actually disco, but a kind of proto-techno/house); and the rest was–wait for it–

Loops.

Now, in the proper context, I have absolutely no problem with loops.  Everybody knows I love house and techno, both styles which are basically MADE from loops.  But DISCO is NOT made of loops.  Disco songs are SONGS first.  They might have huge percussion breaks in the middle of them, but they’re still songs.

I don’t really have any kind of rant for this.  All I’m sayin’ is, the next time somebody promotes a ‘Disco’ night, somebody better play some Goddamm Disco.  And I mean heavily orchestrated, Gospel-shoutin’, conga-beatin’ DISCO.

Loops are not Disco.

 

[Edited 2016-12-03 because I used an insensitive word]

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