Archive for March, 2006

On Tour, Post One

Posted in Music on March 26, 2006 by brokenheadphones

Okay, so I’m finally getting to the promised blogging of the tour. This shit ain’t easy if you don’t have a laptop, so shut up.

Milwaukee- Garage DJ.

Chicago- Alright. Scored a Ryuichi Sakamoto 12-inch at Dusty Grooves (I’d include a link, but I promised our tour manager Dorien that I wouldn’t screw up her Safari windows).

Columbia MO- Played ‘Blue Monday’ by New Order. We drove to get some miles under us on the way to Denver. When we woke up in Hays, Kansas the next morning, a massive snowstorm had shutdown I-70, leaving us with no way to get to Denver. We wound up driving to Dodge City, then east to Trinidad, Colorado, then up to Denver. We got there a half-hour after Midnight. The audience stayed.

Denver- The promoter tried to stop us from coming. Dork. It was a snowstorm. we’re from MICHIGAN.

Part two follows whenever…

Dinking with the Site again

Posted in Uncategorized on March 14, 2006 by brokenheadphones

There’s a load of new themes available for WordPress.com blogs, but of the two available with light text on a dark background, one has a picture of a girl on it, and the other includes random quotes from Ernest Hemmingway.  Now, I like Hemmingway as much as the next guy, but not enough to have him plastered across my OWN writing.  I might have considered the girl if it’d been an anthropomorphic cat.  I’m sick that way.

There was a theme called ‘Fleur-de-Lys’, which featured soothing grey panel borders, a nice serif font, and, of course, lots of fleur-de-lys everywhere, which I feel honour-bound to employ as a loyal and patriotic Laker.  I’m currently choosing not to use it as there are some kerning problems with the font, and I’m not thrilled with the colour of the text on embedded links.  I’ll keep it in mind for future reference, however.

Signs and Portents

Posted in Infectious Agents on March 14, 2006 by brokenheadphones

A couple years ago, I was driving through one of Detroit’s small border suburbs, and I happed across a protest rally at an intersection.  Someone was holding up a sighn that read ‘Honk If You Think Dubya Should Be Impeached’, or words of similar meaning.  I remember distinctly that I was the only person among the eight or nine cars who honked, and I got a dirty look from the person driving the car next to me.

Today, I was driving through the same suburb, and I came across another protest rally at the same intersection.  Someone was holding a sign that read ‘Honk If You Think Bush Must Go!’  There were about 15 – 20 vehicles at the intersection, and when the light flipped green, suddenly horns went off as if I were sitting in Rush Hour on Chicago’s Eisenhower Expressway.  That’s quite a change.

Wine: Leelanau Ltd. Pear Wine

Posted in Wine on March 8, 2006 by brokenheadphones

Yes, wine made from pears.  This is the Great Lakes, beetch, settled by French freaks, and you can bet that the fruit hasn’t been harvested up here that we haven’t made into a wine.

Anyway: pear wine.  Sweet, yes, but not syrupy; it doesn’t taste like the liquid in a tin of canned pears, it tastes like an actual beverage.  I had it with chicken that was grilled in a marinade of pears and rum, and it was astonishing how the wine brought out the flavours of the marinade, accentuating the chicken perfectly.  It must be said, though, that this wine is undoubtedly more suited to desserts, although obviously it’s pretty good in the fou-fou marinade department.  Your mileage may vary.  Give it a try; I bet it rules with dark chocolate.

Faint Praise, Indeed

Posted in Reviews, stfu on March 4, 2006 by brokenheadphones

I forgot to mention: As we were walking out of ‘Ultraviolet’, the friend I had gone with said “Well, it was better than ‘Aeon Flux‘” (which I didn’t see because I KNEW it wouldn’t be as good as the original), which leads me to wonder: when will the heads start to roll in Hollywood over this kind of shit??  How many more dogpiss-poor remakes, re-treads, and ‘re-imaginings’ are we gonna stay away from before Hollywood gets the message?  “It’s a remake of ‘A Patch Of Blue‘ except she’s the bioweapon daughter of a huge megacorp and he’s a half elf/half vampire NINJA!”

If someone walked into my office saying that, I’d grab the nearest sharp object and replace their groin with it.  I was gonna say ‘lobotomise them’ but anybody who would think that that was a good idea for a movie has probably already had one.

Y’know, Hollywood can blame P2P networks, recordable DVDs, Blackberry units, sunspots and whatever else ALL THEY WANT to explain why no-one’s going to see their movies, but THE SIMPLE FACT IS THAT HOLLYWOOD IS LOSING MONEY BECAUSE HOLLYWOOD IS MAKING SHITTY FILMS.  Did we really NEED a remake of ‘The Hills Have Eyes’?  Do we really NEED a remake of ‘The Poseidon Adventure’?  What next, a remake of ‘The Towering Inferno’?  ‘Bad Ronald’?  How ’bout a remake of ‘New York, New York‘ starring Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher?  (and just like that, I have sinned.  By merely typing those words, I know in my heart it will happen, and it will be my fault.  Sorry, everybody.)

Hollywood will continue to churn out terrible remakes and big-budget special-effect showcases with no story.  And, when those movies flop at the box-office, Hollywood will continue to blame YOU.  Sic Semper Tyrannis, kiddies.  Hollywood is in the first stages of its death throes.  Go make some popcorn, and then get a good seat so we can all point and laugh over the next few years.  Good Riddance to bad rubbish.
In the meantime, bop on over to the Internet Archive and have a bang on the future.

Review: “Ultraviolet”

Posted in Bad Craziness, Reviews on March 4, 2006 by brokenheadphones

Before I went to see this movie, I found it interesting to learn that Screen Gems didn’t allow for pre-release review screenings.  This, as we have come to learn, is the mark of a bad film.  if the company doesn’t let reviewers see it, then those reviewers can’t tell the world what a turkey the movie is.

Okay.  We have now ascertained that ‘Ultraviolet’ was a bad film.  Here’s why.

One of my pet peeves with current moviemaking trends is movies which eschew niggling little details like, oh, PLOT, character development, and SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF in favour of giving a leggy woman some guns and having her spend 90 miniutes blasting holes in faceless drones who apparently couldn’t hit the ground if they used a laser sight.  In addition to that, ‘Ultraviolet’s cheesecloth-like plot was made up primarily of scenes from OTHER MOVIES: ‘Blade’, ‘The Matrix’, ‘Equilibrium’ ‘Lone Wolf & Cub’, and ‘Gloria’, with a little ‘GATTACA’ and ‘Fahrenheit 451’ to try and be ‘edgy’ and ‘futuristic’.  I was blowing raspberries at this thing five minutes into it.

The opening credits told me everything I needed to know about this film:  The credits are printed on (non-existent) issues of the ‘Ultraviolet’ comic book, with the covers done by some actual comic artists.  (I could’ve sworn I saw one by Dave Stevens in there: Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave.  Do you need money THAT bad?  Are those people making you do drugs?  You have to get out of LA, Dave, that place is killing you.  Those people – those people don’t love you Dave, not like we do.  Come back to us, Dave.  Do you remember?  Do you remember Pacific Comics, Dave?  Wasn’t it FUN?  It can be like it was.  It can be FUN again.  Just come back to us.  We can get you the help you need.  We love you Dave, and we miss you.  Come back to us.)  It was obvious that the makers of this film are huge comicbook fans (there were also parts of Howard Chaykin‘s ‘Cyberella‘ and the miniseries ‘Accelerate‘ accreted to the tissue-paper plot), and HAD THEY MADE AN ACTUAL COMICBOOK, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN OKAY.  As a comicbook.  As a MOVIE, it was dreadful.

So, in conclusion: Gunkata, swordkata, blah blah, wait for this to show up on the P2P nets, edit out every scene in which a face-to-face conversation takes place, and enjoy a solid 18-minute action *spectacular*.

Garfield, Funny Again

Posted in Infectious Agents on March 4, 2006 by brokenheadphones

This is another memeset making the rounds:  If you take Garfield’s thought balloons out of the comic, they’re FUNNY.  No, really, it’s true.  ‘Garfield’ ceases to be the epitome of comic hackery and becomes a  bittersweet, slightly surreal, and FUNNY series of vignettes involving a sad man talking to his cat.  Somewhere between ‘Something Positive‘ and ‘Harry And Tonto‘.

This is the link to the original thread.

I don’t really know why, but this comic absolutely slayed me.

(Thanks to Badly Drawn Kitties for the link)